I’ve been playing a lot with erotic humiliation recently. It’s a subject I never outwardly displayed too much interest in previously, and there is a reason for that. The adult entertainment scene is awash in humiliation. It’s everywhere. It’s wildly popular! And yet to me it’s lacking something. Some element of joy. Or some sweetness, perhaps.
To me, humiliating somebody is a very delicate thing. A very finely crafted act of tenderness. I want to see you open and raw, your very heart exposed to be stepped upon. Naked and infinitely vulnerable. I want to hurt you just enough… Juuuust enough to sting. And I want you to know, no matter what I make you do, no matter the names I call you or the deep embarrassment I cause you; it’s ok. It’s ok to allow yourself to be vulnerable with me. It’s safe. I won’t hate you for it. I won’t think less of you, though of course you’re going to have to take my word on that, since my words alone (in-session) imply the opposite.
And having sorted out that tangled web in my own heart, and having shared my conclusion with you in this blog post, I feel more free. Lighter. Happier. More inclined to share my love of all things sticky and sweaty and occasionally gross. 😉
And today I’m sharing something more than just thoughts. I’m sharing a brand new session. Shots Fired. You can go read about it, and if you feel the urge to open up more deeply than ever for me, you can purchase and listen. And know that I’m watching, sweetness. Watching with a beady eye, and smiling.
You hear that a lot in this scene. Obedience is pleasure. Obedience is necessary. Obedience to Mistress is the purest joy a boy could ask for. And you know what? It’s all true.
Perhaps you’ve already noticed the new Slave Assignments section of my website? Well darlings, since allowing you all access to this new bag of goodies, the emails have been coming thick and fast. Proof to me, if it were needed, of just how deeply you boys crave that deeper connection. How you long to allow all thoughts to slide out of your mind, as you instantly move to obey my every word. It’s utterly delicious!
Mmm, I love the feeling of power it gives me to watch you succumb…
Gentlemen, it’s that time of year again! My favourite time of year, in fact.
The 6th Annual Spiral Seductions Christmas Charity Drive is here!
I may no longer be able to share a website with the lovely and talented Ember, but nothing could stop me from joining in once more to raise funds for deserving families during the holidays. This year we have some super-sexy new treats for you to indulge in, so get your ass over to Spiral Seductions right now, and let the holiday games begin!
Every now and again, I get a comment from someone in my inbox, loudly yelling and attempting to chastise me because I ‘have no respect for men.’ I can understand how, on the very surface, it could appear that way to the uninitiated. When you dig just a fraction deeper though, it seems to me that it should be ridiculous to assume a dominatrix hates men. Let me give you just a few reasons why:
- We are (usually) sexually attracted to men, and choose who we play with based on whether we like them. It’s hard to like people for whom you have no respect. If I dislike or disrespect you, the fuck would I let you anywhere near me? And yes, that includes online interaction.
- Dommes (hypnodommes in particular) devote a rather sizeable portion of our lives to helping men experience and understand their own needs and desires. Many of these men, we’ll never meet or speak to, and yet we care enough to spend hours and days on making sure they have a good experience. Why? Because we respect your desire to explore your sexuality. In a vast number of cases, the work you watch or listen to isn’t about us at all. It’s about you, and what you need as a sub.
- In order to humiliate, hurt, restrain, restrict and control, you start from a place of love or care. We might laugh at you or make you do gross, stupid or ouchy things, but once the scene is done, you’ll at the very least get a ‘good boy’ and at most, a whole lot of praise and aftercare. We see men at their weakest and most vulnerable. If there were no respect there, we wouldn’t bother, we’d just go out for cocktails. Way easier.
- It takes enormous strength of character to allow yourself to be under somebody else’s complete control. This is not a small thing. It’s huge. We have nothing but respect for any man who can put his pride and dignity on a shelf for the sake of pleasing a woman, even if that woman is not us. It speaks of personal security, strength, honour and chivalry. It’s impossible not to respect those qualities.
There’s more to it, of course there is. No doubt I’ll look at these few points later and think ‘oh, I should’ve mentioned this’. But it’s enough for now to get a feel for the subject. Respect is earned, and it should be mutual. Naturally I have no respect whatsoever for those who cannot respect me, and the same should be true for you too. But in my world, simply engaging in BDSM is not a reason to assume there is no respect. Quite the opposite is true.
And one last point before I wrap this up: Calling out shitty behaviour is not disrespect. If your domme of choice genuinely disrespects you, before you start shouting that she’s a bitch, perhaps look at your own actions and ask yourself why this should be the case. Perhaps there’s something you can work on there.
We all have them, don’t we? Those filthy little secrets that we keep hidden between the sheets and our own sweat-soaked skin… I could tell you that it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but sometimes the shame is what makes those naughty thoughts extra appealing. 😉
You lucky boys are in for a treat this weekend. Are you ready for it? I’m quite sure that with this one, half of you will be clutching your figurative pearls in horror, while the other half clutch your cocks to stave off the sudden rush of hot-filthy-omgyesplease! But I wonder how many of that first group will find themselves, over the coming weeks, returning again and again to the description of my latest session ‘Hidden Desires‘ and wondering… What if…?
Morbid curiosity, my darling? Or perhaps something more? Something deeper? Something that sparks off sharp little bolts of secret yearning in the deepest parts of your subconscious mind. And truly this is a powerful session, with a fascinating confusion induction, multi-layered vocal tracks, and an interesting new technique I decided to test out, using frequency clicking to deepen immersion and yet never quite let you drift completely away. You see, I want you present, but utterly helpless for this experience. Unable to forget what you’re hearing, what you’re doing, and still unable to break away from the fantasy either. Trapped within the secret sins of your soul, and my own hidden desire to see you bend and break.
You know you want to break for me. That much isn’t a secret.