Every now and again, I get a comment from someone in my inbox, loudly yelling and attempting to chastise me because I ‘have no respect for men.’ I can understand how, on the very surface, it could appear that way to the uninitiated. When you dig just a fraction deeper though, it seems to me that it should be ridiculous to assume a dominatrix hates men. Let me give you just a few reasons why:
- We are (usually) sexually attracted to men, and choose who we play with based on whether we like them. It’s hard to like people for whom you have no respect. If I dislike or disrespect you, the fuck would I let you anywhere near me? And yes, that includes online interaction.
- Dommes (hypnodommes in particular) devote a rather sizeable portion of our lives to helping men experience and understand their own needs and desires. Many of these men, we’ll never meet or speak to, and yet we care enough to spend hours and days on making sure they have a good experience. Why? Because we respect your desire to explore your sexuality. In a vast number of cases, the work you watch or listen to isn’t about us at all. It’s about you, and what you need as a sub.
- In order to humiliate, hurt, restrain, restrict and control, you start from a place of love or care. We might laugh at you or make you do gross, stupid or ouchy things, but once the scene is done, you’ll at the very least get a ‘good boy’ and at most, a whole lot of praise and aftercare. We see men at their weakest and most vulnerable. If there were no respect there, we wouldn’t bother, we’d just go out for cocktails. Way easier.
- It takes enormous strength of character to allow yourself to be under somebody else’s complete control. This is not a small thing. It’s huge. We have nothing but respect for any man who can put his pride and dignity on a shelf for the sake of pleasing a woman, even if that woman is not us. It speaks of personal security, strength, honour and chivalry. It’s impossible not to respect those qualities.
There’s more to it, of course there is. No doubt I’ll look at these few points later and think ‘oh, I should’ve mentioned this’. But it’s enough for now to get a feel for the subject. Respect is earned, and it should be mutual. Naturally I have no respect whatsoever for those who cannot respect me, and the same should be true for you too. But in my world, simply engaging in BDSM is not a reason to assume there is no respect. Quite the opposite is true.
And one last point before I wrap this up: Calling out shitty behaviour is not disrespect. If your domme of choice genuinely disrespects you, before you start shouting that she’s a bitch, perhaps look at your own actions and ask yourself why this should be the case. Perhaps there’s something you can work on there.
We all have them, don’t we? Those filthy little secrets that we keep hidden between the sheets and our own sweat-soaked skin… I could tell you that it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but sometimes the shame is what makes those naughty thoughts extra appealing. 😉
You lucky boys are in for a treat this weekend. Are you ready for it? I’m quite sure that with this one, half of you will be clutching your figurative pearls in horror, while the other half clutch your cocks to stave off the sudden rush of hot-filthy-omgyesplease! But I wonder how many of that first group will find themselves, over the coming weeks, returning again and again to the description of my latest session ‘Hidden Desires‘ and wondering… What if…?
Morbid curiosity, my darling? Or perhaps something more? Something deeper? Something that sparks off sharp little bolts of secret yearning in the deepest parts of your subconscious mind. And truly this is a powerful session, with a fascinating confusion induction, multi-layered vocal tracks, and an interesting new technique I decided to test out, using frequency clicking to deepen immersion and yet never quite let you drift completely away. You see, I want you present, but utterly helpless for this experience. Unable to forget what you’re hearing, what you’re doing, and still unable to break away from the fantasy either. Trapped within the secret sins of your soul, and my own hidden desire to see you bend and break.
You know you want to break for me. That much isn’t a secret.
Hello darlings, happy weekend to you all! This is just a short post to let you know that I’ve decided to start up my Vault game again.
If you’ve been a follower of mine for a while, you may remember this game from several years ago. From time to time, a ? will appear on my menu bar up top there. When you see it, that means there’s a special treat available for you in my Vault. It might be anything in there, anything at all. It might be a premium file, a sexy audio blog, a story, an unseen picture… Anything that takes my fancy.
But how do you play? Well sweetness, the page title is everything! Read it carefully, note it down. Figure out the clue and obtain the password. If you get it right, you’ll have instant access to the contents of the Vault for as long as it remains available. It’s as simple (if not necessarily as easy) as that.
Have fun! 😉
Good morning my lovelies, it’s pouring down with rain and I’m hanging out in my office with a cup of tea, just listening to fat drops of water splashing onto my window. It’s a curiously soothing sound, don’t you think?
If you’re reading this little blog post, you’ve obviously noticed that I am no longer present at Spiral Seductions. I’m a little sad about that, Ember and I spent years sharing a website and it was SO much fun! Alas, all good things come to an end. If you’ve been following my work over the past year or so, you’ve no doubt heard me mention the ever-changing laws regarding adult content provision in the UK. Those laws have now come to pass in final form, and though audio and written works have (thank goodness) eventually been exempted from the more draconian aspects of the law, several subjects which my darling Ember specializes in and enjoys providing, I can no longer associate with.
If you think that sounds ridiculous and unfair, that’s because it is. I am not at all amused. I simply could not expect or ask a fellow Domme to stop doing what she loves for my sake, and so here I am, my darlings. Nestled comfortably into my own little website, where I shall stay from this point on.
Everything you loved about my work at Spiral Seductions you can still find right here, so there is no need to be alarmed. 🙂 And I know you’ll continue to support and adore Ember too, just as I do. Sometimes change is an uncomfortable thing, but that doesn’t make it bad. Sometimes in fact, it only makes you more determined to excel.