It’s a long time since I first discovered my own power. My unique, personal power, that belonged only to me and which nobody could take from me. You have it too, of course. Everybody does. But mine? Mine is special. It’s special because I choose to use it in very direct and targetted ways, which the vast majority of women do not. I don’t understand that choice, frankly. In my perfect world, women are always in charge; but that’s a whole other story.
My power is soft. It’s curved. My power is in delicacy and charm, in an artistic flair and in the ability to wield a riding crop and a sentence with the same pointed and stinging intent. My power is in making you want to say yes.
But here’s the thing about power that so many people don’t understand. Acknowledging someone else’s power, absolutely does not deplete your own supply. It doesn’t diminish you. It doesn’t make you somehow less. In fact, I don’t want you to be less. When you submit to me, I want it to be from a place of personal empowerment. I want to empower you to kneel. I want your adoration, and yes, even your love, to add to your life, not to subtract from it. This is how I use my power: To heal and nourish the submissive soul.
My power is infinite, because I know who and what I am. I feel no confusion, shame or regret when it comes to indulging my fetishes or giving free reign to my desires. This is what it is to be a dominant woman. It is the casting off of the veil that little girls are draped in, that says you must always be sweet and accommodating and inoffensive. It’s a beautiful, liberating thing to do, and I have never stopped being glad that I had the conviction to do it. And I have never stopped being glad, my sweet, that you are here to share in the experience.
I’ve been playing a lot with erotic humiliation recently. It’s a subject I never outwardly displayed too much interest in previously, and there is a reason for that. The adult entertainment scene is awash in humiliation. It’s everywhere. It’s wildly popular! And yet to me it’s lacking something. Some element of joy. Or some sweetness, perhaps.
To me, humiliating somebody is a very delicate thing. A very finely crafted act of tenderness. I want to see you open and raw, your very heart exposed to be stepped upon. Naked and infinitely vulnerable. I want to hurt you just enough… Juuuust enough to sting. And I want you to know, no matter what I make you do, no matter the names I call you or the deep embarrassment I cause you; it’s ok. It’s ok to allow yourself to be vulnerable with me. It’s safe. I won’t hate you for it. I won’t think less of you, though of course you’re going to have to take my word on that, since my words alone (in-session) imply the opposite.
And having sorted out that tangled web in my own heart, and having shared my conclusion with you in this blog post, I feel more free. Lighter. Happier. More inclined to share my love of all things sticky and sweaty and occasionally gross. 😉
And today I’m sharing something more than just thoughts. I’m sharing a brand new session. Shots Fired. You can go read about it, and if you feel the urge to open up more deeply than ever for me, you can purchase and listen. And know that I’m watching, sweetness. Watching with a beady eye, and smiling.
You hear that a lot in this scene. Obedience is pleasure. Obedience is necessary. Obedience to Mistress is the purest joy a boy could ask for. And you know what? It’s all true.
Perhaps you’ve already noticed the new Slave Assignments section of my website? Well darlings, since allowing you all access to this new bag of goodies, the emails have been coming thick and fast. Proof to me, if it were needed, of just how deeply you boys crave that deeper connection. How you long to allow all thoughts to slide out of your mind, as you instantly move to obey my every word. It’s utterly delicious!
Mmm, I love the feeling of power it gives me to watch you succumb…
Gentlemen, it’s that time of year again! My favourite time of year, in fact.
The 6th Annual Spiral Seductions Christmas Charity Drive is here!
I may no longer be able to share a website with the lovely and talented Ember, but nothing could stop me from joining in once more to raise funds for deserving families during the holidays. This year we have some super-sexy new treats for you to indulge in, so get your ass over to Spiral Seductions right now, and let the holiday games begin!
Every now and again, I get a comment from someone in my inbox, loudly yelling and attempting to chastise me because I ‘have no respect for men.’ I can understand how, on the very surface, it could appear that way to the uninitiated. When you dig just a fraction deeper though, it seems to me that it should be ridiculous to assume a dominatrix hates men. Let me give you just a few reasons why:
- We are (usually) sexually attracted to men, and choose who we play with based on whether we like them. It’s hard to like people for whom you have no respect. If I dislike or disrespect you, the fuck would I let you anywhere near me? And yes, that includes online interaction.
- Dommes (hypnodommes in particular) devote a rather sizeable portion of our lives to helping men experience and understand their own needs and desires. Many of these men, we’ll never meet or speak to, and yet we care enough to spend hours and days on making sure they have a good experience. Why? Because we respect your desire to explore your sexuality. In a vast number of cases, the work you watch or listen to isn’t about us at all. It’s about you, and what you need as a sub.
- In order to humiliate, hurt, restrain, restrict and control, you start from a place of love or care. We might laugh at you or make you do gross, stupid or ouchy things, but once the scene is done, you’ll at the very least get a ‘good boy’ and at most, a whole lot of praise and aftercare. We see men at their weakest and most vulnerable. If there were no respect there, we wouldn’t bother, we’d just go out for cocktails. Way easier.
- It takes enormous strength of character to allow yourself to be under somebody else’s complete control. This is not a small thing. It’s huge. We have nothing but respect for any man who can put his pride and dignity on a shelf for the sake of pleasing a woman, even if that woman is not us. It speaks of personal security, strength, honour and chivalry. It’s impossible not to respect those qualities.
There’s more to it, of course there is. No doubt I’ll look at these few points later and think ‘oh, I should’ve mentioned this’. But it’s enough for now to get a feel for the subject. Respect is earned, and it should be mutual. Naturally I have no respect whatsoever for those who cannot respect me, and the same should be true for you too. But in my world, simply engaging in BDSM is not a reason to assume there is no respect. Quite the opposite is true.
And one last point before I wrap this up: Calling out shitty behaviour is not disrespect. If your domme of choice genuinely disrespects you, before you start shouting that she’s a bitch, perhaps look at your own actions and ask yourself why this should be the case. Perhaps there’s something you can work on there.